1. Talk constructively
How you say things is as important as what you’re saying. If you and
your partner are having a disagreement, don’t just attack them or go
all-out criticizing. Why not try using ‘I’ statements? By saying ‘I
feel’ rather than ‘You always…’ you’re taking responsibility for your
emotions and your partner won’t feel like they’re being blamed for
everything.
2. Listen to each other
Listening is such an important tool in relationships. Sometimes, we
find it hard to hear what our partner is saying because we’re so wrapped
up in our own emotions. Remember that communication works two ways.
Listening to your partner is the only way to know what’s really going on
with them.
3. Don’t bottle things up
If something has upset you, you’re not doing yourself or your partner
any favors by keeping it to yourself. This is only likely to cause
resentment to build up that will come out in other ways. If it’s
something that really matters to you, talk about it.
4. Keep things fresh
It’s a cliché, but making the effort to keep things fun and
interesting in your relationship can really make a big difference. It’s
easy to get complacent about having someone in your life, but this kind
of attitude can also lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. Let your
partner know you appreciate having them around by surprising them
occasionally.
5. Let go of the little stuff
Although it’s good to talk when you’ve got something on your mind,
your relationship is going to be like a battleground if you can’t ever
let things slide. If it’s something that, all things considered, doesn’t
actually matter that much, why not just forget about it? Nobody’s
perfect – and you probably do stuff that your partner finds annoying
too!
6. Appreciate what you have
Many people end up looking outside their relationship because they
think there’s someone out there who is ‘better’ for them. Relationships
aren’t about finding the ‘perfect partner’ – whatever that means.
They’re about allowing the connection you do have to develop and grow.
The strongest relationships are usually the ones that have been given
the time to flourish.
7. Give each other space
Although it’s great spending quality time together, don’t forget you
both need to nurture your interests and friendships. Couples who spend
every moment in each other’s pockets can easily begin to feel
unfulfilled when they realize that their personal interests have started
to slip. Allow each other to spend time on the things you enjoy
separately. When you reconvene as a couple you’ll be pleased to see each
other and have lots to talk about.
8. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself
It’s easy to worry about whether your relationship is as good as it
‘should’ be. Just as we can get wrapped up in having the best clothes or
latest gadgets, we can worry about having relationships that are as
exciting and passionate as the ones we see depicted in movies or hear
about in songs. Relationships aren’t about constantly feeling
butterflies – we all have our own unique ways of experiencing them and
you’ll know what’s right for you. Enjoy yours for what it is – and be
grateful that it’s there!
9. Avoid jealousy and build trust
Jealousy can destroy relationships, and nothing is less attractive
than the green eyed monster. If you’re worried your partner isn’t giving
you enough attention, try the open, honest approach rather than acting
out or accusing them of looking elsewhere. Building mutual trust is the
key to banishing unhealthy emotions and remaining strong together.
10. Work on it
It’s not always the most popular way of thinking about them, but
relationships can be work. They need to be nurtured and given the space
and attention they deserve. Communication isn’t something to do only
occasionally – it should be a constant. It’s only by not taking your
relationship for granted that your connection will stay strong. But the
rewards, as anyone in a happy relationship knows, are more than worth
the effort.
