One in four of us are dissatisfied by our sex lives. Yet there’s still a big stigma about going to Sex Therapy. Many people find the idea of speaking to a complete stranger about sex to be embarrassing. Some think that they should be able to sort out any problems they’re having by themselves.
But Sex Therapy actually has a very high satisfaction rate. People are often surprised by how effective it is. If you think you might benefit from Sex Therapy, why not come in for an initial consultation? Your counselor will talk you through what it involves and how it can help. Here are some of the most common reasons that people come in for.
"I’ve gone off it"This is by far the most common issue that people attend Sex Therapy to address. When we ‘go off’ sex with someone we enjoyed it with in the past, it can be mystifying, confusing and very unsettling.
Discovering when things changed is often the first stage of recovery. Then we can start to uncover why. Many life events can impact our sexual lives and responses - moving in together, losing a job, having a baby, grieving – the list is long.
A sex therapist can help you work together to find out what will help you in approaching issues, taking time to understand what is happening for you. You will create a way forward that feels comfortable or maybe even exciting. This process may take a while but it’s important to stick with it - nurturing a long term fulfilling sexual relationship is something that happens over time.
"I can’t come"Both individuals and couples, men and women, may experience this. It may be that you have never experienced an orgasm - or that you can’t any more.
Sex doesn’t have to end with climax, but if you do want this to happen, anxiety about getting it ‘right’, feeling angry or upset or not being sure any more about what works sexually for you can all contribute towards difficulty.
A sex therapist can help you to discover or rediscover what works for you through designing a series of tasks to do at home and helping you to talk openly with your partner - to communicate what works and what doesn’t.
Painful sexIt may be that, for a woman, intercourse simply hurts. In some cases, this can make it very difficult or even impossible to have penetrative sex.
Having the chance to just talk about the issue may in itself bring some relief. Your sex therapist will help you to explore your reactions to sex and get a more thorough understanding of your sense of pleasure and pain. They may also talk to you about opportunities for medical checks to rule out any physical cause.
"I can’t get (or keep) it up"This is a very common problem for men – and something that most will experience at some point during their lives. An inability to get or maintain an erection can result from illness, surgery or trauma - or it may have been something you’ve always had problems with. Often just the anxiety of ‘will it work this time’ can make things worse.
Sex Therapy can be very helpful in revealing the best approach to address this problem. This can happen in combination with prescribed medication, or it may be that that the process of talking things through is enough to help things begin to change.
"I come too soon"Once in a while, this may not be a big problem, but if it continues regularly it can make it difficult to maintain a satisfying sex life.
Coming too soon is something that lots of people worry about and can sometimes be caused by feeling anxious or not feeling fully focused on what's going on. The good news is that Sex Therapy can really help by taking you through a series of tasks and exercises that help you take back control and last longer.